Italian Society & Culture

Italian Society & Culture

Italian Family Values

. The family is the centre of the social structure and provides a stabilizing influence for its members.
. In the north, generally only the nuclear family lives together; while in the south, the extended family often resides together in one house.
. The family provides both emotional and financial support to its members.

Italian Style

. Appearances matter in Italy.
. The way you dress can indicate your social status, your family's background, and your education level.
. First impressions are lasting impressions in Italy.
. The concept of 'bella figura' or good image is important to Italians.
. They unconsciously assess another person's age and social standing in the first few seconds of meeting them, often before any words are exchanged.
. Clothes are important to Italians.
. They are extremely fashion conscious and judge people on their appearance.
. You will be judged on your clothes, shoes, accessories and the way you carry yourself.
. Bella figura is more than dressing well. It extends to the aura your project too - i.e. confidence, style, demeanour, etc.

Catholicism

. The primary religion in Italy is Roman Catholic.
. There are more Catholic churches per capita in Italy than in any other country.
. Although church attendance is relatively low, the influence of the church is still high.
. Many office buildings will have a cross or a religious statue in the lobby.
. Each day of the year has at least one patron saint associated with it.
. Children are named for a particular saint and celebrate their saint's day as if it were their own birthday.
. Each trade and profession has a patron saint.
. The church promulgates hierarchy, which can be seen in all Italian relationships.
. They respect and defer to those who are older, those who have achieved a level of business success, and those who come from well-connected families


Etiquette & Customs in Italy
Meeting Etiquette

. Greetings are enthusiastic yet rather formal.
. The usual handshake with direct eye contact and a smile suffices between strangers.
. Once a relationship develops, air-kissing on both cheeks, starting with the left is often added as well as a pat on the back between men.
. Wait until invited to move to a first name basis.
. Italians are guided by first impressions, so it is important that you demonstrate propriety and respect when greeting people, especially when meeting them for the first time.
. Many Italians use calling cards in social situations. These are slightly larger than traditional business cards and include the person's name, address, title or academic honours, and their telephone number.
. If you are staying in Italy for an extended period of time, it is a good idea to have calling cards made. Never give your business card in lieu of a calling card in a social situation.

Gift Giving Etiquette

. Do not give chrysanthemums as they are used at funerals.
. Do not give red flowers as they indicate secrecy.
. Do not give yellow flowers as they indicate jealousy
. If you bring wine, make sure it is a good vintage. Quality, rather than quantity, is important.
. Do not wrap gifts in black, as is traditionally a mourning colour.
. Do not wrap gifts in purple, as it is a symbol of bad luck.
. Gifts are usually opened when received.

Dining Etiquette

If invited to an Italian house:
. If an invitation says the dress is informal, wear stylish clothes that are still rather formal, i.e., jacket and tie for men and an elegant dress for women.
. Punctuality is not mandatory. You may arrive between 15 minutes late if invited to dinner and up to 30 minutes late if invited to a party.
. If you are invited to a meal, bring gift-wrapped such as wine or chocolates.
. If you are invited for dinner and want to send flowers, have them delivered that day.

Table manners

. Remain standing until invited to sit down. You may be shown to a particular seat.
. Table manners are Continental -- the fork is held in the left hand and the knife in the right while eating.
. Follow the lead of the hostess - she sits at the table first, starts eating first, and is the first to get up at the end of the meal.
. The host gives the first toast.
. An honoured guest should return the toast later in the meal.
. Women may offer a toast.
. Always take a small amount at first so you can be cajoled into accepting a second helping.
. Do not keep your hands in your lap during the meal; however, do not rest your elbows on the table either.
. It is acceptable to leave a small amount of food on your plate.
. Pick up cheese with your knife rather than your fingers.
. If you do not want more wine, leave your wineglass nearly full.

Italian traditions

Italian Wedding Traditions
Getting Engaged in Italy

In the past, Italian wedding engagements were usually orchestrated by the families of the bride and groom. Lineage was of the most importance, and if the bride's father had any doubts, negotiations could stop in their tracks. In some cases, a matchmaker sent a message (masciata) to the prospective bride's family of the man's hope to marry. If her family found the groom's proposal acceptable, there would be wedding bells and a marriage.


Diamond engagement rings have been popular with Italian brides since the 1400's. Italians have long held that diamonds are created by the flames of love. In medieval Italy, grooms even paid for their brides with precious stones.

In preparation for her wedding day, the bride assembles a trousseau, consisting of household items, clothing, and sometimes even her future husband's clothes to bring to the home of the groom. Her family provided her with a dowry of money and possibly domestic goods. Today, this custom continues in the form of the bridal shower.

Wedding Day Traditions and Folklore in Italy
Traditions


In Veneto, it is customary for the Italian couple getting married to walk to the wedding chapel together. The townsfolk place obstacles in the bride's path to see how she will react to domestic situations. If she picked up a broom, for example, she will keep a clean house. If they put a child in her way and she stopped to help him, she will be a good mother. In some regions, the bride and groom must cut a log in half before they reach the wedding site, using a double handled saw. This demonstrates their partnership in love and marriage.

Tying a ribbon in front of the wedding chapel to symbolize the bond between the couple getting married is another popular wedding custom in Italy. The actual wedding ceremony (sposalizio) is officiated by a priest or civil authority. Old church tradition warns against marrying during Lent and Advent, and marriage is also avoided in the months of May and August. A lengthy celebration begins with a mass in the morning; and the dancing and feasting that follows may continue well into the wee hours of the morning.

Italian Folklore

To ward off evil spirits, a groom in Italy might carry a piece of iron in his pocket. The bride wears a veil to hide her face from jealous spirits. Tearing the veil is considered good luck.

Sunday marriages are believed to be the luckiest.

It is considered bad luck for a bride to wear any gold, on the day she is married, until wedding rings are exchanged.

Symbolic foods for fertility and for good luck are 'confetti -- candy covered almonds tied in mesh bags to toss at the couple; and twists of fried dough powdered with sugar called wanda (bow ties).

Gourmet Food for Italian Wedding Receptions



For hundreds of years, traditional gourmet Italian food has been served to wedding reception guests. Sweet liquor and strong drinks are served to the guests, by the best man, before the dinner begins. This gives the guests a chance to toast the happy couple with "Per cent'anni" which means, for a hundred years.

The menu at an Italian reception is nearly as important as the wedding itself. Guests may be served as many as 14 different courses with wine and other beverages. After dinner, the customary multi-layered Italian wedding cake is served with espresso and coffee. The sheer volume of food reflects how highly anticipated and festive a typical wedding in Italy is.

Wedding Reception Traditions

For the traditional Italian custom of 'buste', the bride will carry a satin bag (la borsa) in which guests place envelopes of money to defer the expenses of customarily lavish Italian weddings. Sometimes the bag is guarded by the bride's grandmother during the festivities or the bride might wear it and allow male guests to put money in it in exchange for a dance with her.

Before the reception is over, the bride and groom usually break a glass. The number of pieces of shattered glass symbolize the years the happy couple will share together. At some weddings, a pair of white doves is released into the air, symbolizing the couple's love and happiness.

Toast to the Newlyweds

One popular custom is a toast, usually made by a male guest after a few glasses of wine. "Evviva gli sposi" - "hurray for the newlyweds." Guests respond with thundering applause. This toast is shouted whenever there is a lull in the wedding celebration, renewing spirits and enthusiasm.

"Kiss for the bride" is another popular Italian toast. It calls for the bride and groom to stand and show their affections for all the guests to see.

تجربتي في الاردن

في شباط من العام 2007 سنحت لي الفرصة لزيارة احدى دول العالم العربي الا وهي المملكة الاردنية الهاشمية. وقد مكثت هنالك قرابة خمسة اشهر اتاحت لي فرصة ممتازة للتعرف الى كثير من عادات وتقاليد الناس في الاردن, والنظر عن قرب لكثير من مشكلات هذا البلد.
خلال زيارتي الى الاردن زرت العديد من الاماكن الاثرية والمواقع التاريخية مثل أم قيس, جرش, عجلون, عمان, وادي رم, خليج العقبة ثغر الاردن الباسم, حمامات ماعين, البحر الميت وموقع مغطس السيد المسيح. وقد احببت هذه الاماكن كثيرا جدا. فالاردن بلد له بيئة متنوعة جميلة على صغر مساحته. فيه الجبال والغور والصحراء والبحر الميت والاحمر. لكن اذا أردت التحدث عن الاردن و التفكير فيه فسوف اتحدث عن تناقضات هذا البلد من النواحي الاقتصادية والاجتماعية.
عندما قررت زيارة الاردن لأدرس اللغة العربية, العديد من اصدقائي أخبروني أنه بلد جميل يستحق الزيارة وقد وجدته بالفعل كذلك, الا أني تفاجأت بواقع الكثير من الامور. عندما تدخل الاردن من مطار العاصمة عمان و تأخذ سيارة أجرة باتجاه المكان الذي تريده في داخل عمان ستفاجئ بالحداثة العمرانية لهذه المدينة حيث الجسور والأنفاق والشوارع الواسعة والنظيفة مما يجعلك تأخذ انطباعا أوليا ان هذا البلد ثري جدا ومعدل دخل الفرد فيه مرتفع جدا وسكانه اغنياء جدا . الا انه وبمرور الوقت ستكتشف أن اغلبية السكان في الاردن هم من الطبقة الفقيرة جدا وان اكثر من نصف السكان يعيش تحت مستوى خط الفقر, وبالمقابل قلة قليلة هي التي تتمتع بالثروة الطائلة يتركز اغلبيتها في غرب عمان في احياء راقية جدا. أما اذا ذهبت الى شرق عمان فستشعر انك انتقلت الى بلد اخر غير الاردن والحقيقة انك لا زلت فيه وفي نفس المدينة لكنك انتقلت من جهتها الغربية الى جهتها الشرقية حيث الشوارع الضيقة والمتسخة والبيوت المتاكلة والفقر المدقع.
على صعيد أخر قد تكون جالسا في احد المطاعم الشعبية أو في أحد مقاهي النرجيلة فاذا بمتسول او متسولة يقف أمامك يسأل المساعدة ممطرا اذنيك بالدعاء والابتهال ان يحفضك الله ويحميك من كل سوء لقاء مساعدته. فهم متواجدون بكثرة بكل مكان تقريبا. قد تجدهم في الشوارع وعلى ابواب المطاعم وفي مواقف الباصات وحتى قرب الاشارات الضوئية بمناظر غير مرحب بها اطلاقا. حتى في مواقف الباصات لا يتوانى المتسول من الصعود الى الباص وسؤال الركاب واحدا تلو الاخر المساعدة وبعد ان ينتهي ينتقل الى الباص الاخر وهكذا.
في الاردن سنحت لي الفرصة لمقابلة العديد من الاشخاص والجلوس معهم والتحدث عن الوضع الاقتصادي في الاردن, ما هو ملحوظ أن رواتب الموظفين وأجور العاملين في الاردن متدني جدا في القطاع العام في مقابل ان تكاليف الحياة مرتفعة جدا والرواتب والاجور التي يتقاضاها العاملون والمظفون لا تكفي في ضوء غلاء المعيشة لتوفير حياة كريمة لهم. فلا يستطيع المواطن العادي مثلا ان يشتري انواع اللحوم المختلفة والفواكه ليطعم عائلته بشكل يومي. فالتقليد السائد هنا ان يوم الجمعة هو يوم لقاء العائلة واكل وجبة فيها اما لحوم حمراء أو السمك او الدجاج ما يعكس الوضع الصعب لحياة الناس هنا والبؤس المعيشي الذي يعانوه.
لكن من الجميل جدا معرفة انك حتى لو دخلت بيت احد الناس بغض النظر عن وضعه المادي فانه يقوم بواجب الضيافة بشكل كبير جدا حسب الاصول العربية ولو اضطر ان يستدين من احد الجيران او احد المحال حتى يقوم بواجب ضيافتك كضيف حل على بيته. خلاصة القول ان الاردن بلد ينمو بالرغم من جروحه الاقتصادية والاجتماعية الكثيرة وهو اخذ بالتطور بقيادة ملك شاب يحدوه الامل في تحسين وضع شعبه والنهوض به.

My experience in Jordan

In Feb 2007, I got a chance to visit on of the world countries, it was Jordan. I stayed there about five months which gave me an excellent chance to know much about this country traditions and his people habits, as well, some of his problems.
During my visit to Jordan, I visited many historical places and ruins. Like Um Qais, Jarash, Ajloun, Amman, Wadi Rum, Aqaba- Jordan's only port, Hammamat Ma'in, The dead Sea and the site of the Baptism. I liked those sites too much. In spite that Jordan is a small country but is has a variable environment; it has many mountainous areas, The Great Rift valley, two seas, one river and a desert. But if I wanted to think and talk about Jordan I will talk about this country contradictions from social and economic point of view.
When I decided to visit Jordan to study Arabic language there at Yarmouk University, many of my friends told me that it is a very lovely country and it deserves to be visited, and really it was like it was described. But I was shocked by many things there. When you arrived Amman's airport and take a taxi toward the capital of Jordan, you will be surprised by its modern buildings, tunnels and bridges. Its streets wide and clean. This will make to think that this country is very rich and its people very wealthy. But, while time is passing you will discover gradually the majority people of this are very poor and more than the half of Jordan's population lives below the poverty's line. On the other side the minority who domains the wealth in Jordan and they live in a very rich quarters in west Amman. At the same time if you move to eastern Amman, you will think that you have traveled to an other country. But the truth that you still at the same city but you moved to its contrary side. There you find the narrow and dirty streets. As well, the collapsed houses, poverty and beggars.
One of the strangest things is that while you are sitting in one of the Nargila shops, sweet shops or at one of the restaurants at Irbid city pay in your mind that you will be interrupted by a beggar from time to time asking you to help him. He or she will start asking God to protect you, or maybe he ask God to keep you safe and sound all your life in order to help him. Most of the time he will not leave you unless you give him something. Perhaps he will meet the next day at the same place and the same scenario will happen to you every time he meets you. They are existed every where; in the streets, on the entrances of the restaurants, before the mosques, in the bus stations and the traffic jams. You will see them in unlovely way.
I had the chance also to visit and meet many people in their houses and chit chat with them about their lives. We talked much times about their economical situation. I found in one hand that the salary of Jordanian employers and workers is insufficient and very low, on the other hand the expenses of their life too high. Their salaries do not enough them and do not offer them a respectful life.
The ordinary person, for example is not able to feed his family a daily healthy meal . he can not offer his family the necessary fruit and meat every day. The tradition in Jordan that Friday is the day of gathering the family and the day of having meat meal, which reflects the suffer of most of people here.
As matter of fact, if you entered one day to a Jordanian house, they will offer you most thing they can do. As a visitor you will your hospitality, you will be respected to much. If your host was a poor person, make sure he will borrow from his neighbors some money to offer you some food, or anything else.
Jordan is a growing country in spite of his social and economic wounds. Jordan is a developing country led by a young king who wants better future for his people .

The Namesake

In this book, the Protagonist(character) is a young boy, Gogol Ganguli. His family came from Calcuta, but before he was born, the father arrived to America, where he started a new life.Until the beggining of the romance, we can see, how much problems, had this little boy becouse of his name: Gogol, but in his mind!When he became eighteen, he decided to change his name to Nikolaj,so he started a new life with his new name while he was at the collage.All the people that he met during that period and after will know Gogol like Nikolaj.Why he chose this name?because it remembers him with a writer.Sinice the second year of the college Gogol wasn't interested the faminen world, all of a sudden, in a trip in the train,he met a lady.They started to talk and when they met after the Christams holliday they fell in love!The relation was stablished during the University, Gogol decided to take a couse of Architecture.the parents didnt know about this relation.Once again the holliday started, while Gogol was on his way to come back to the family, the father was wainting on the train station, he started to think about the accident and how he survived in that caotic situation”.....the whole people on the train was sleeping and outside a very weak sleet made the atmosphere like a dream,the hot of the locomotive opened the way to the street................he coudn't sleep so he decided to read a book that he took it from the library of his grandfather, A red Coat, suddenly the train started running after few minuts the trip stopped in dramatic end, he saw all the events contemporaly this shoked and thanks that book he was awake so he could survive.After the incident, he stayed for long time in the bed, and made many operations for walking once again,the family chose for him a lady to marry and when he fineshed the phd he got married and stayed in America.after the father told a story to Gogol, he started to change mind about his name.Any way, during a party Gogol met Maxine, she were a very sensual lady,interested about many things, and with her Gogol started a different life, they lived with her parents, the mother of her took care of the house and they used to made many parties and invited people in a boring dinner.Even if, the parents of Gogol desired that the son get married with a indian lady, when he introduced Maxine,they accepted her without problems,but she will never feel like welcome, becouse she will feel like a Foreigner!Christmas time was near and for those holiday Gogol and Maxine decided to spend with her parents in the lake house, this will be the last time that Gogol saw his father.During, they were enjoying the days there, the mother called Gogol to tell him that the father be suddenly taken ill, quickly he left Maxine and came back to Clevelad. After this news the life of Gogol changed, he went to Clevelant and he discovered how much was important that man for him, and he took the body with his family to Calcutta. There made indian funeral,and with all the celebration, they spent a month.When came back, he broke the relation with Maxine because he though that it was important to find a lady from the same culture, indian i mean. Before the mother left America for spending some months in India, she phoned a friend of family to ask about the daughter and took the number.because Gogol was curious, he phoned her and they arranged a meeting in a pub. Wheh Gogol saw her, recognized in her eyes the young girl that used to go the party to his family. Just for chance, he called her, but after he saw her, Gogol fell in love, she was a very elegant and cultural lady.She was a teacher of french language,and she made PHD in France but when she decided with the boyfriend to get married she left.Unfortunately, finaly she did not married.She passed very terrible moments, and survived teaching in school, after this meeting they started a new relation.The work for Gogol was good and he bought a new house to stay with her,they found it and they got married.After some months she left America for Frence to finish her PHD.and because he loved her too much decided to spend some time in France with her, but Gogol finaly discovered that she wants to be alone.He came back and he starded ones again a new life..............................

written by Pina Sodano

il tatuaggio e le donne delle tribe di assaqer

IL TATUAGGIO E LE DONNE DELLA TRIBU' DI ASSAQER


Se vi capitasse di incontrare una delle donne anziane della tribù di Assaqer, notereste
immediatamente i semplici e graziosi tatuaggi tratteggiati in diverse parti del suo viso, potreste
tranquillamente pensare che oggi sia normale incontrare una donna tatuata. In realtà le cose stanno
diversamente e rimarreste davvero sconcertati nell’ apprendere che le origini di questa usanza
risalgono a ben prima del 1948!
Una domanda sorgerebbe spontanea, considerando che, nel mondo islamico, il tatuaggio è una
pratica condannata dal punto di vista religioso: si tratta di una tribù che non si pone il problema
dell’osservanza dei precetti dell’Islàm o forse c’è dell’altro?
bisogna notare come oggi le donne della tribù di Assaqer abbiano ormai abbandonato questa
pratica, che un tempo era molto diffusa e inserita in una quotidianità dalla quale traeva anche una
sua specifica funzione a livello sociale.
Ma cosa spingeva le donne della tribù di Assaqer a tatuarsi? E come mai oggi le cose sono tanto
cambiate? Affinché tutte queste domande trovassero delle risposte, mi sono cimentato in una serie di interviste, ben consapevole che queste donne anziane avrebbero potuto rifiutare l’idea di affrontare
tali tematiche, e considerando anche l’eventualità che potessero essere troppo avanti con gli anni
per poter ricordare. Al di là di ogni mia aspettativa, invece, non solo queste vecchiette sono state
oltremisura gentili e disponibili, ma hanno anche dimostrato di avere davvero un’ottima memoria!
La prima donna che ho intervistato aveva il viso completamente tatuato. Mi disse che si chiamavano
"Ghawà", e che facevano parte di un rituale molto diffuso tra le giovani donne della sua tribù. Stando
alle sua parole, Ghawà è l’intero processo di preparazione della donna, che comprende i Daqqa,
cioè tatuaggi, la pittura con la henna e i cosiddetti Zumàima, cioè i cerchietti che venivano
applicati alle narici. Tutti questi ornamenti, per le donne dell’epoca, erano fondamentali per attrarre
l’attenzione e conquistare i giovani dell’altro sesso. In quest’ottica, il Ghawà era una moda che
mirava a rendere più bella la donna per conquistare il più forte tra i giovani uomini della sua tribù:
accrescendo il proprio fascino, la donna avrebbe attratto l’uomo, facendo in modo che lui la
corteggiasse e cominciasse a pensare a lei come alla compagna della sua vita.
Ho chiesto poi ad un’altra anziana signora di inquadrare queste usanze dal punto di vista religioso, e
lei mi ha semplicemente risposto: “All’epoca eravamo cosi ignoranti... non sapevamo molto delle
regole e dei precetti dell 'Islàm”.
Successivamente, le ho domandato per quale motivo, secondo lei, le giovani di oggi hanno
rinunciato alla tradizione del Ghawà: “Adesso”, mi ha risposto, “le ragazze sono molto più istruite,
senza parlare poi dei nuovi cosmetici e pratiche di bellezza che un tempo non esistevano”.
A quanto pare, dunque, al giorno d’oggi, anche le ragazze della tribù di Assaqer si truccano il viso
proprio come tutte le altre esponenti della nuova generazione, ben sapendo che il tatuaggio è
considerato haràm, cioè "proibito" dall’Islàm.
I tatuaggi tipici della tradizione femminile della tribù di Assaqer erano molto semplici ed essenziali;
nè esistevano di vari tipi, tutti molto diversi tra di loro ed ognuno aveva un suo nome specifico.
Venivano eseguiti da donne “specializzate” che si spostavano di tribù in tribù al grido di
“Daqqàt Daqqàt (Tatuaggi... tatuaggi!)”, realizzando disegni e tratteggi di varie fogge e
grandezze, in diverse parti del corpo. Quando le giovani della tribù sentivano il richiamo delle
tatuatrici, rispondevano accorrendo in strada e, dopo qualche breve scambio di battute, decidevano sia il tipo di disegno che la zona del corpo da decorare.
Quella di Assaqer è una delle tante tribù che vivevano nei dintorni della città di Bisan, in Palestina, e che nel 1948
furono costrette dall’esercito sionista ad abbandonare le proprie terre.
Il termine indica l’obbiettivo che la donna si proponeva di raggiungere tramite la bellezza e il fascino del tatuaggio stesso: la conquista del suo uomo. Il tatuaggio più diffuso in assoluto era chiamato Sayyàl, e consisteva in un tratteggio leggero che
partiva dalla base del labbro inferiore e scendeva fin sotto il mento. Era possibile anche realizzare
più di un Sayyàl, uno accanto all’altro.
Un altro tipo di tatuaggio molto in voga all’epoca era il "Swawarib al Jondi" , cioè “Il Pizzo del
Soldato”, che era costituito da un tratteggio che partiva dagli angoli del labbro inferiore e
circondava l’intera area del mento. Molte giovani donne sceglievano invece un altro tipo di
tatuaggio, chiamato "Tardi", preferito per la sua semplicità: due trattini, uno a destra e uno a sinistra
rispetto all’attaccatura del naso alla fronte.
Durante il corso delle mie interviste, molte donne mi hanno raccontato dell’ abitudine di decorare
con tatuaggi anche zone piuttosto delicate del corpo: gambe, polpacci, seni, caviglie... era frequente
il tatuaggio di una cavigliera sul collo del piede e di un albero sui seni , un albero talmente esteso da
coprire quasi tutta la parte anteriore del torace!
Una volta che la giovane aveva scelto il tatuaggi o e la zona del corpo da decorare, la tatuatrice
procedeva eseguendo il tratteggio con il kohl ; successivamente, fissava il disegno incidendolo
sulla pelle con un ago sottile intinto in una specie di inchiostro blu, in modo da mescolare,
all’interno dell’incisione, il liquido colorato con le gocce di sangue della ragazza. Quindi si faceva
“riposare” il tatuaggio per dare il tempo alla pelle di assorbire e trattenere il colore. Alla fine
dell’intero processo, la giovane beveva una tazza di caffè arabo e ricompensava la tatuatrice
offrendole uno scialle, qualche vecchio indumento oppure del cibo.
Le ragazze di questa tribù andavano molto fiere dei loro tatuaggi e biasimavano tutte quelle che
ancora non ne avevano uno.
dott.ssa Pina Sodano e-mail: pinasodano@libero.it